Believably Unbelievably

(All characters, incidents and places in this diary page are real. Resemblance to any person living or dead or to any incident or place is not co-incidental.)

BELIEVABLY UNBELIEVABLE

12^th June                                                                                                                           Saturday

Today wasn’t real. I mean to say, that the happenings of the day could not have been possibly be real. Something incredible happened that seems way too far-fetched and fishy. It started off as any typical day, a typical bad day, would start. The badness may be subjective and since it is my personal diary, I guess subjectivity is allowed. Like any other monsoon day it was pouring since late last night. I woke up with sound of my alarm clock (raising hell because it is 9) and heavy rain drops splashing against the glass window pane. I went up to the window and pulled aside the curtain to get the better view. It did not show any sign of improvement than the previous day. The sky was layered with thick dark clouds and it was pouring so heavily that I could not see anything on the other side of the road. I thanked my lucky stars that it was a Saturday, and I didn’t have to face the horror of trudging through the muck and rain to go to school. It could have been easily passed as 4 in the evening, except the wretched clock on my bed side table telling me otherwise. My monsoon holidays are just round the corner but still a week away. It is always like this that the good things are just there but you can’t touch it, smell it but can’t taste it. It was one of those gloomy days where you would give anything to have the sun shining down at you. The only other sound, other than the rain, I could hear was the angry grumble of my stomach. I left my room and came downstairs in search of my mother and some good, delicious, scrumptious breakfast. The Saturday morning special.

            I could not find my mother anywhere. I looked everywhere possible but without any success. Then me eyes fell on the post-it on the fridge, written in the squeaky handwriting, undoubtedly my mother’s. It said ‘‘I am sorry. I remembered late in the night that I committed to attend the seminar about ‘The state of Archaeology in India’ in St Paul’s College. I have left for it and will come back only at eight. I have left some money on the kitchen table get some food delivered. Sorry for this but I promise to make it up to you’’. It might sound very abrupt to someone else but after living for 13 years with my mother I do not feel bad anymore. She is not mean or unaffectionate. She is just like that. She will forget stuffs and then remember them at the very last moment and raise hell for it.

 Correctly at that moment the lights went off. It was pretty dark outside and the room looked like it needed some light. So I went in search for a candle. It was nowhere to be found. Trust my mother to keep nothing in place. Anyone would think a house resided in by two women would be spic and span, everything in order and all that. But my home is the exception proving that rule. One can never find anything when required. I gave up on it.

My tummy rumbled again and I decided to order my brunch from the favourite place ‘Square Pizza’. They sell pizzas in square shape and their theory is why miss out on the extra amount of delicious pizza by making it round.  I dialled the number. I knew it by heart. I wish I knew the phone number to my electricity board by heart, so I could call and give them a piece of my mind. Actually poor fellow, what can they do if it pours for days? I ordered my usual baked tomato and peperoni pizza and a big choco muffin. The familiar voice from the other end of the line assured me that food would be there within 30 minutes, but there might be little delay due to this weather and requested me to bear with the inconvenience, and thanked me for ordering there. I was prepared to be understanding and I hoped my tummy would considerate too.

I didn’t know what to do. It was dark and seemed like 5 in the evening with no lights on. I wanted to finish of the book I was reading last night but could not due to the ‘inconvenience’ of no power and awfully forgetful mother.  I decided that best thing to do would be going back to sleep.

While I was contemplating all these the door-bell rang. I looked up the watch; it said 9:45 am. Which means it was just 20 minutes since I ordered. I thought to myself that the food could not possibly be here. I could never be lucky. But again, one never knows what the wheel of the destiny turns. (I sound like one of those witches who predict future and stuff. I should so stop watching all these witchcraft programs on TV, or soon I will be joining a coven.)

I went and opened the door and Voila. There was a guy standing in a neon orange t-shirt and blue denim jean. He was the cutest thing ever. I have never ever seen such a cute guy in my life. Trust me 13 years is a lot. I thought to myself, this place has improved so much with respect to delivery guys but I didn’t care much for the new uniform. It was so bright that it was hurting my eyes. None the less his smile and killer looks made it up for it.

I enquired about my order but he looked bewildered, as if I spoke some foreign language. I repeated but still the strange look did not leave his face instead it got stranger. Then suddenly he started to make dissolute hand gestures and barged into the house.

I got super freaked. He looked like a boy of 17 and I did not even know a boy so young can be a rapist or psycho killer. I guess there is not age bar there. I got enough lectures before, about checking before opening the door, talking to random unknown people and so and so forth. The movies I have been watching and the gory news in the newspapers did not help the cause either. I tried to scream but nothing came out. Again, I opened my mouth but without any results.

Curiously he took no notice of me. He looked around the room as if he was searching for something, something very important. My new phone was lying on the tea table in the drawing room. He seemed to head towards that. In my head I knew I had to do something: run for a start or call out for help or hit him from behind. I remembered all the advices that I have given in my head to those in similar situation, in books or movies. But somehow I was not able to follow them.

By then he had already reached for my phone. It was my brand new ‘qwerty’ phone that I have got after a lot of imploring and pleading. He looked at it with great interest and then picked it up and put it under his t-shirt, as if hoping that I would not notice he have taken my phone. And, I, like an idiot was standing near the door dreading his next move. Curiously enough after few seconds he kept the phone back on the table and turned towards me and spoke in plain English. ‘Hi’. Just hi. I was like that is not what you say when you barge into some one’s house pretending to be a pizza delivery boy and then mess with their phone. I did not say them obviously.

I also went ‘hi’. I was so happy to get my voice back that I did all the shouting from before. ‘Who do you think you are? What do you want? Where is my pizza?’ I could not help it, I was that hungry.

‘Please don’t be afraid of me. I am not going to harm you’. (I was like sure why should I be? I did not have any reason to be.) ‘I don’t know what “pizza” is, so I don’t know about its whereabouts. Will you please calm down and let me explain. I do not have much time and this is a very important business.’ I felt like I was in some spy movie or something. Then he threw the bombshell.

‘I come from a faraway planet. I am a visitor on the Earth. I have come here on a very important business. Will you please assist me?’ I did not whether to laugh or be afraid. It was still raining outside. I had the ‘bullshit’ expression on my face. May be that is why he opened his mouth and closed it again. Then I noticed something strange. Something impossible. I pinched myself to check whether I was dreaming. I was not dreaming and that boy had two tongues. One normal like ours and the other just below it rolled like a frog. When he was speaking before it was not seen but he opened his mouth both of them came out together.

I was dead sure I was hallucinating as I was hungry and depressed. Then the next thing I saw was him standing in front me. He touched my forearm. His touch was hot. Normal body temperature of a person cannot be that much, till he does not have fever. I did not what to do or say. So the best thing to do was to keep quiet and listen.

‘I will not harm you. I am here for redemption. I have done a grave mistake and I have been sent for punishment.’

‘I see.’ I did not even know aliens existed let alone get punishments from their own kind for mistakes. ‘What mistake?’ was all I could manage.

He explained that in his planet violence was a punishable offence. Thinking about it is a very severe mistake and committing violence was even more serious. He has committed violence against someone. He has been recently seeing a girl and one of their class mate tried to hold her hand. He did not like it and so he got very angry. He had never seen anyone before and thus did not know how to deal with jealously. So he went and punched that guy and broke his nose. He got punished. This was the first time he is doing it thus he did not get a horrible punishment. He got sent to earth to make a person happy for a day and I had been randomly picked for that. So if I would tell him how he can make me happy, he would do it and leave.

I would have thought someone was playing a joke on me if I would not have seen is two tongues. I asked him for his name. He said I wouldn’t be able to pronounce it as it required two tongue so does the name of his planet. I asked him how he knew English. He said he did not. He got the dominant language uploaded in his system from that pink machine. Now I knew what he was doing with my phone.

I decided to take full advantage of the situation. I might never have the opportunity to encounter such a nice alien who did not look like a bug (far from it) or try to invade my land. I told him I was alone for the day as my mother has left for work and he could make me happy by keeping me company for the day.

Thus the next few hours went in haze. In the meantime, the power came and so did the actual delivery guy and he delivered the pizzas. He got super excited that he got to learn about something new. His radiant charm added to his good looks. He loved it too. He did not need to eat but he could if he felt like it. He named some funny dishes which I could not comprehend, as it required two tongues. He loved pizza and also the chocolate pastry left over from the last night. It was lovely spending time with him. He told me about his life in the ‘other planet’ and his family and friends. He told me about his school and how he was going to fail his exam on next Monday. I told him about my life and my mother. I showed him my house and my paintings. He loved them and so I gave him one as a present. He said that he loved presents. Even before we realized it was time for him to go. I felt a little sad to be left alone again. I did not mind staying alone but not in a rainy day.

We said good bye near the front door. He said he will fly back home. I did not ask how as I have stopped applying human logic to everything he said or did. Then leaned forward and gave me a goodbye kiss. It was leg-popping kiss. I had my first kiss ever.

Next thing I remember was my mother’s face hovering above me while I was lying down on my bed, tucked safely inside the blanket. She had brought a glass of milk. She found me near the door lying unconscious with the door wide open. She got very scared. She has brought me upstairs. She was looking seriously sad and worried for leaving me back alone. She promised to never do it again. She even told me she got my chocolate muffins. She has just left

I cannot believe my luck. The typical bad day has become one of my favourite days ever. I had my first kiss, that also from the cutest alien ever.  On top of I got a box full of chocolate muffins. Nothing in the world could have made me sad. It was so perfect that made me really consider whether I was really unconscious the whole day. The only proof of his existence is the missing painting from my wall.